To Know and To Be Known

Perhaps the greatest need we have as individuals is the need for intimacy; that is to know someone and to be known by them. We are created to be relational individuals, and we are fulfilled only when we have the right kind of relationships with others. First and foremost, we are created to have a relationship with our Creator. No one, not even ourselves can know us like God knows us. He created us. We exist only in Him. Not only has He created us, but He also sustains us. He knows every cell, every nerve, every thought and attitude that we have. He understands our motives even better than we understand them. If God were to withdraw from us, then we would cease to exist; we would disintegrate. (Acts 17:24-28; Hebrews 2:10). So, if our greatest need is to know and to be known, then no one can fulfill the “be known” side of the equation like He can. HE KNOWS US. So how can we fulfill the other side of that equation: to know Him. He created us to know Him, so it is not only a possibility to know God, but it is the purpose for which we are designed.

God makes Himself known to us, that is, to ALL people, regardless of our education, intelligence, race, or any other “label” we can put on an individual. (Matthew 11:27; 1 Corinthians 1:21;). God will use whatever means that He has allowed us to have at our disposal and whatever means that we might understand in order to reveal Himself to us. As it tells us in Romans 1:18-20, even those who do not have the advantage of someone sharing the Gospel with them; even those who do not have the printed, written Word of God available to them or even have no knowledge of it; even to those God will choose to reveal Himself. Our knowledge of God comes ONLY as He chooses to reveal Himself to us, for we have no other means of knowing Him (John 1:18; 2 Corinthians 4:3-4). So what means do we, in America, have of knowing God? First and foremost, the primary way in which God will reveal Himself to us is through His written Word, the Bible. As we read the Bible, He will reveal Himself to us. Additionally, there is prayer and meditation; that is, communication or dialog with God. We must talk to Him in prayer as He shows us in His Word. And we must listen for Him to talk to us as we reflect on His Word and as we pray. So prayer is both speaking and listening. It is through the work of His Holy Spirit that He communicates to us through our prayer and meditation on Him. We also get to know God through “fellowship” with other Christians; that is, individuals who have developed a more mature relationship and knowledge of God than we. All knowledge about God must be tested and compared with the standard of Truth, the Bible.

Our knowledge of God and our relationship with Him is dynamic; it should be ever growing. However our fulfillment in the relationship and our satisfaction with the relationship will be realized as soon as we begin to seek Him and to know Him. A practical example of how this knowledge and satisfaction works might be seen in that of a highly trained, educated and experienced master of classical music. He would have an understanding of the nuances of music; the moods, the chords, the tempo, and how all these play together to communicate the message of the composer. If he and I were to attend a concert of classical music by the New York Philharmonic Orchestra, we would both greatly enjoy the music. Although, while he listened, he would detect all the changes in the music which would go completely undetected by my ear, that would not lessen my enjoyment of the concert. He would have a capacity of enjoyment far greater than mine, but we could both enjoy it to the fullest of our knowledge and ability. So it is with the knowledge of God. As we begin to know and learn about Him, we will have a satisfaction in our relationship with our Creator that would be just as fulfilling as that of a much more “mature” believer. At the same time, it will create within us a hunger, a desire, to know Him further.

The wonder, the adventure of knowing our Creator, indeed the Creator of the entire Universe, cannot be matched by any other adventure in life. We soon realize that, not only does God know us infinitely, He also loves us infinitely. This realization can be overwhelming. Knowing us infinitely and intimately, means He knows ALL of our faults; ALL of our weaknesses; ALL of our failures; and STILL He loves us infinitely. So we cannot, as humans, realize our purpose or design without the knowledge of our Creator. This relationship is the model for our marriage relationship. Although no one, not even our spouse, can ever know us as God does, it is with our spouse that we are to know and be known. And it is our spouse that we are to love and be loved by just as in our relationship with God. The marriage relationship is the closest human relationship there is to that of our Creator. It is to be the primary and the most important of all human relationships; taking precedent over mother, father, children, or anyone else.

So we are designed to fulfill our greatest human need, to know and to be known, with our marriage partner. This will mean, for us, that we seek to know and to understand our spouse; that we honor and respect them as individuals; that we love them unconditionally, even as we are loved by God. And it will mean that we will seek to allow ourselves to be known by our spouse. We will be honest, transparent, open. We will allow ourselves to be loved.