A Quiet House

This weekend my wife is staying with her mother who is recouperating from a broken leg. This morning the house is very quiet. I am aware of how empty this house is when she is away. Not only does she make this house feel like a home by the way she takes care of it; by the way she displays items, pictures, reminders of family, events, times we have spent together; by the little things I notice that she adds or changes which keeps the house fresh and more alive; but she also makes this house feel like home because she is here with me. No place would feel like home if she were not there with me. As I sit in this house, empty of her, I am reminded of how empty my life would be without her in it. She adds the spice, the decoration, the warmth, the excitement, the anticipation of life, the love; she adds everything I need in a companion, a helper, a friend, a lover. Yes, she is indeed God's complete gift to me as my life's mate. I don't like these times of loneliness without her, but they do serve as a reminder of just how much she means to me; of just how blessed I am to have her in my life

The First Easter Celebration

I wrote this Easter of 2011 as I contemplated what must have taken place in heaven on the first Easter as the angels, unaware of the complete plan of the Father, witnessed the events among men. I thought I would share again this year as the celebration approaches once more.


All heaven stood aghast as they nailed Him to the cross.
The Hope of man to be crucified; would all Hope now be lost?
The angels gathered ‘round the throne as if the Father to console.
No singing from within was heard; no words of praise to extol.
There He hangs ‘twix Heaven and Earth, life slowly slipping away;
The Savior of Man, the Son of God, shouldn’t need die this way.

The sky turned black. All angels mourn. Death has had its due.

The men on earth had failed to see the Love which they all knew.
They laid Him in a borrowed grave and placed a seal thereon.
Therein lay the Prince of Peace who once sat on His throne.
In darkness, still and quiet, the grave held tight its prey,
Three days passed, heaven stilled, as death held life at bay.

The Father summoned His messengers, His plans to them revealed.

The shout came forth, the earth did shake, death at last must yield!
He chose one to go and tell, The Son has risen from the grave
The debt is paid, the way is made, mankind now to save.
The angels sing in unison once more, Hallehlu Yah.
The King of Kings, and Lord of Lords, has risen to live for Aye.

The Class of '65

A couple years ago I wrote this for my high school class' 45th year re-union. Since the next one will be upon us before I know it, I thought I would just share this once again. Maybe some inspiration will come before the next re-union. I hope so; it has been a long dry spell.

And here’s to us, the class of sixty-five.

We’re glad we’re here; we’re glad to be alive!
The years have gone and caught us by surprise.
Oh, looking-glass, we don’t believe our eyes!
What are those bulges in our clothes we see?
That silver in our hair, what could it be?
We’ve made it through the war of Vietnam.
It’s sad but some of us did not come home.
For most of us the sev’n’ties were so good.
We’d like to r’turn to those days if we could.
And then, the eighties, we were thirties bound,
And kids were there, seemed always were around.
And now the kids have children of their own.
And, most the time, we’re still glad they’re gone.
Although, we’ve learned, they never really leave.
Their times away bring just a short reprieve.
We’re glad to see the grandkids come to see.
We’re even gladder when they decide to leave.
For our role in life we all still search.
Our reputations we would not besmirch.
Retire or not retire bewilders us.
Will our funds hold out? Oh what a fuss!
It’s time to live our dreams before they’re gone.
We’ve worked so hard, it’s time to build thereon.
Give back to those who’ve given us so much,
But give a little for our own delights and such.
At last, give thanks that we are still alive,
For, cheers, we are the Class of Sixty-Five.

Slow Dance

This is not original with me. I don't remember where I got it, but found it again today. It is good advice for all. Enjoy.

Have you ever watched kids

on a merry-go-round

Or listened to the rain

slapping on the ground?

Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight

Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?

You better slow down

Don't dance so fast

Time is short

The music won't last

Do you run through each day on the fly

When you ask "How are you?"

do you hear the reply?

When the day is done,do you lie in your bed

With the next hundred chores running through your head?

You'd better slow down

Don't dance so fast

Time is short

The music won't last

Ever told your child,

We'll do it tomorrow

And in your haste, not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch,

Let a good friendship die

'Cause you never had time

to call and say "Hi"?

You'd better slow down

Don't dance so fast

Time is short

The music won't last

When you run so fast to get somewhere

You miss half the fun of getting there.

When you worry and hurry through your day,

It is like an unopened gift....

Thrown away...

Life is not a race.

Do take it slower

Hear the music

Before the song is over.

When I Pray

I think that I
Shall never say
Aught as good
As when I pray.

For when I pray

I do converse
With Creator
 Of the Universe.

In prayer I leave

All the mundane
And find the source
That does sustain.

I open heart

And soul and mind
For thoughts that are
Of nobler kind.

Through this language

So mystique
I find the peace
For which I seek.

I find the One

Who for me seeks,
I listen close,
As He then speaks.

He tells me of

His love so sure,
A love so strong
A love so pure.

Now I’m refreshed

All things are new.
I find new strength
In all I do.

So when I’m down

When things look gray
I lift my eyes
To Him I pray.

Where Do We Go From Here?

I am not a fatalist. I am not a pessimist. I don’t make any claim to prophecy. However, if one is any student of history; and if one believes in the Sovereignty of the Creator over His creation; if one believes in the Sovereignty of the Creator over history, it seems to me there can be only two conclusions applicable to the future of the United States of America. The first is that the United States will make a significant return to the values of the founding fathers, although undergoing some degree of purging within. Those values are found in the Holy Bible, the Sacred Scriptures of the Christian faith. The second is that the United States will collapse under the weight of its own decadence.  And if one would analyze the past path of decline, it would be reasonable to expect the beginning of this collapse to happen within the next fifty years, two generations. The Sovereign of history has repeatedly raised up peoples and nations to answer the call, that is, the promise, of  1 Peter 2:9-12.

⁹ But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. ¹⁰ Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.

¹¹ Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul. ¹² Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.

The founding Fathers and the Presidents and leaders of the past have viewed the role of the United States to fulfill this promise. Not only is this no longer true, but this view is held by a very small minority of the people of the United States. It has been historically true that such nations, those who continuously and obviously reject this role, have been replaced and other nations have been raised up to take their place. Tragically, the United States has become so arrogant in our might, that most do not believe that this great nation can be brought down. History would tell us different. Much greater nations have been brought down and relegated to the forgotten pages of history.

It is not apparent at this point in history which nation or people which the Sovereign Judge might raise up to meet His call, but it would not be unreasonable to expect, that for those who are perceptive and looking, this may begin to become apparent within the next generation. Neither is it a foregone conclusion that this nation, this United States of America, might not make a strong and significant return to our purpose and founding values. May each and every one of our citizens who call themselves Christian; who believes that God raises up nations and brings down nations for His particular purposes; who believes that we have strayed so far from our founding values that we are indeed in danger of losing our role, earnestly pray for a return of the United States to Him who raised us up before it is too late.

A Second Chance

You only go ‘round once in life so make it all you can.
There are no do-over’s to make it right, no chance to start again.
Words that once escape your lips can never be recast.
And the opportunity that comes today may very well be the last.

This wisdom seems self-evident to all the human race.

Of course the past is past and the outcomes we must face.
But let each new day remind us of the Grace that comes so free
That offers now to all who seek, a Second Chance to be.

To be the friend who encourages, lifts up and makes one glad.

To be the one to lead the way through valleys deep and sad
To be a beacon shining out, a light in which to dance.
To be all that He intends when He gives the Second Chance.

WORDS

At times, I’m inspired to many words,
‘Tho ‘tis better to speak a few.
‘Tis better far, if the truth be known,
To speak
                    Not a word
                                             At all.

To Know and To Be Known

Perhaps the greatest need we have as individuals is the need for intimacy; that is to know someone and to be known by them. We are created to be relational individuals, and we are fulfilled only when we have the right kind of relationships with others. First and foremost, we are created to have a relationship with our Creator. No one, not even ourselves can know us like God knows us. He created us. We exist only in Him. Not only has He created us, but He also sustains us. He knows every cell, every nerve, every thought and attitude that we have. He understands our motives even better than we understand them. If God were to withdraw from us, then we would cease to exist; we would disintegrate. (Acts 17:24-28; Hebrews 2:10). So, if our greatest need is to know and to be known, then no one can fulfill the “be known” side of the equation like He can. HE KNOWS US. So how can we fulfill the other side of that equation: to know Him. He created us to know Him, so it is not only a possibility to know God, but it is the purpose for which we are designed.

God makes Himself known to us, that is, to ALL people, regardless of our education, intelligence, race, or any other “label” we can put on an individual. (Matthew 11:27; 1 Corinthians 1:21;). God will use whatever means that He has allowed us to have at our disposal and whatever means that we might understand in order to reveal Himself to us. As it tells us in Romans 1:18-20, even those who do not have the advantage of someone sharing the Gospel with them; even those who do not have the printed, written Word of God available to them or even have no knowledge of it; even to those God will choose to reveal Himself. Our knowledge of God comes ONLY as He chooses to reveal Himself to us, for we have no other means of knowing Him (John 1:18; 2 Corinthians 4:3-4). So what means do we, in America, have of knowing God? First and foremost, the primary way in which God will reveal Himself to us is through His written Word, the Bible. As we read the Bible, He will reveal Himself to us. Additionally, there is prayer and meditation; that is, communication or dialog with God. We must talk to Him in prayer as He shows us in His Word. And we must listen for Him to talk to us as we reflect on His Word and as we pray. So prayer is both speaking and listening. It is through the work of His Holy Spirit that He communicates to us through our prayer and meditation on Him. We also get to know God through “fellowship” with other Christians; that is, individuals who have developed a more mature relationship and knowledge of God than we. All knowledge about God must be tested and compared with the standard of Truth, the Bible.

Our knowledge of God and our relationship with Him is dynamic; it should be ever growing. However our fulfillment in the relationship and our satisfaction with the relationship will be realized as soon as we begin to seek Him and to know Him. A practical example of how this knowledge and satisfaction works might be seen in that of a highly trained, educated and experienced master of classical music. He would have an understanding of the nuances of music; the moods, the chords, the tempo, and how all these play together to communicate the message of the composer. If he and I were to attend a concert of classical music by the New York Philharmonic Orchestra, we would both greatly enjoy the music. Although, while he listened, he would detect all the changes in the music which would go completely undetected by my ear, that would not lessen my enjoyment of the concert. He would have a capacity of enjoyment far greater than mine, but we could both enjoy it to the fullest of our knowledge and ability. So it is with the knowledge of God. As we begin to know and learn about Him, we will have a satisfaction in our relationship with our Creator that would be just as fulfilling as that of a much more “mature” believer. At the same time, it will create within us a hunger, a desire, to know Him further.

The wonder, the adventure of knowing our Creator, indeed the Creator of the entire Universe, cannot be matched by any other adventure in life. We soon realize that, not only does God know us infinitely, He also loves us infinitely. This realization can be overwhelming. Knowing us infinitely and intimately, means He knows ALL of our faults; ALL of our weaknesses; ALL of our failures; and STILL He loves us infinitely. So we cannot, as humans, realize our purpose or design without the knowledge of our Creator. This relationship is the model for our marriage relationship. Although no one, not even our spouse, can ever know us as God does, it is with our spouse that we are to know and be known. And it is our spouse that we are to love and be loved by just as in our relationship with God. The marriage relationship is the closest human relationship there is to that of our Creator. It is to be the primary and the most important of all human relationships; taking precedent over mother, father, children, or anyone else.

So we are designed to fulfill our greatest human need, to know and to be known, with our marriage partner. This will mean, for us, that we seek to know and to understand our spouse; that we honor and respect them as individuals; that we love them unconditionally, even as we are loved by God. And it will mean that we will seek to allow ourselves to be known by our spouse. We will be honest, transparent, open. We will allow ourselves to be loved.

My Wife, My Love, My Life

Unfortunately, we men, most of the time, or until its too late, don't fully realize the true gift which God has given to us. It isn't our manhood, for that is fragile; it isn't our strength, for that will fade; it certainly isn't our looks, for those too will become a thing of the past. No, it isn't any of these, but it is the woman which He has put into our lives. A woman, a lover, a friend, a counselor, an advisor, and much, much more, He has packaged for us into one beautiful person. How we treat that person; how we respect her; how we love her; will determine whether she will be able to completely fulfill each and all of these roles given to her, designed for us. Each day I am able to see a little more of my wonderful gift; more of who she is; more of how she loves me; more of how much richer my life is because of her. My encouragement to those men who are walking the path of life a few years behind me would be to open you eyes; look deeply into this priceless gift; treasure her beyond all other things which He has given you. If you do, you, too, will find that she has been gifted and fitted especially for you.
I wrote the following a few years ago in reflection of the years gone by and in anticipation of the years to come. It expressed my feelings then, and all the more so now.

I am not sure how much I understood of love

when I was eighteen, twenty, or even twenty-two.
I know that I liked that you liked me...
you accepted me, you were my friend.
I am not quite sure why you liked me,
but you showed me in all kinds of small ways.
I could have no doubt that I was "special" to you.
This young love continued to grow
as I learned more about you...
who you are, what you are.
We shared our dreams of what we wanted in life.
We completed our love together
as we began our life as husband and wife.
Children expanded our love and caused it
to grow even more.
I learned much from you as I saw you
teach our children, care for them, and
show them how to live their life.
Your patience, your steadfastness, understanding,
calmness even in turmoil.
They learned well, as is now apparent.
I have learned, but not quite as well.
You still show me what it is like
to be a friend.
I haven't learned, or at least applied,
these actions as well as I need. But
I am still learning.
If I loved you at nineteen for what you
did for me and would do for me,
then I love you all the more at fifty-nine
because of what you have done for me
and what you continue to do for me
every day.
I love you because you are still
my friend...
because you not only care for me,
but you have devoted your live to us...
my family is your family. You love them;
you make them feel special because of your
thoughts expressed in your actions toward them.
So, how can I make our days together
something for you?
After all you have done for me.
How can I be the friend to you
that you have been to me all these years?
How can I show you how much I love you?
These are the questions I continue to ask myself.
As usual, I need your help in finding the answer.

That Night

There are some special times that will never be forgotten. Even as we hold on to such memories, we live in the present to make it just as memorable!

The mem’ry of that night still lingers on,
Unended by the breaking of the dawn.
Your kiss, your touch, the fragrance of your hair,
Your warm embrace, the way you show you care.
My one true love you mean so much to me.
Enthralled in your love I will ever be.

I Don't Have Time

I don't have time today. Isn't that such a feeble excuse that is used so many times. This morning I feel something stirring within that wants to come out as words: a poem, a reflection, or just a memo.... I don't know. But, alas, there is also the rush of the schedule for the day; things to do; obligations to meet. The thoughts, once repressed, will likely not come again, at least not the same, maybe in some other form, but not the same. It has happened before. I will wait until I have time... but then the thoughts get lost in my busyness, and never come again. So, I will sacrifice the thoughts of reflection this morning on the altar of expediency.
And I wonder: what else do I sacrifice on this altar which calls so often for my devotion? Other than thoughts and reflections; maybe opportunities; maybe relationships. Will they come again? Likely not; at least, not exactly the same; something will be lost.

The Lighthouse

I kept watch on this ancient shore, made safe within my light.
Though winds and waves against me war, I kept the course aright.
Now I stand tall, an empty shell, no light within to shine.
Below they play and stories tell, and ‘round my base they dine.

Man’s Greatest Folly

We haven't had much of a winter this year, but today reminds me a bit of our 2010 winter. Remember 2010 January and February? As I sat looking out my favorite window that February morning, I wrote the following thoughts. I read them again this morning, and although we may not have the kind of winter we had in 2010 here in the US, just ask Europe and especially Eastern Europe about global warming right now. This is not a policical statement, but a statement on man's self-sufficiency; on a dependency on our own knowledge; on our failure to recognize who is actually in control of this great creation.

February 7, 2010

I haven’t heard so much talk out of Washington lately about Global Warming. While digging out of two feet of snow, seeing record low temps and record high snowfalls across most of the country, it may be a bit of a reminder that we are not really in control. Who says that God has no sense of humor? There must be a chuckle in His heart as he sees us scurrying around trying to explain all the phenomena, as if explaining would somehow imply knowledge and knowledge might suggest some measure of control. He chuckles as he sees us realize that we have no control; that our knowledge is faulty; and, perhaps, even that our explanations may be in error. All knowledge and all science is contained within the One true source of Creative Power. All other knowledge is, simply, vain. For the true scientist must first acknowledge that He exists. Then even the mysterious becomes clear; not the knowledge of the mystery itself, but the knowledge of the fact of the mystery becomes clear. For we may marvel at the accumulation of knowledge of man; we may be in awe of the power of the cranial organ with which we have been endowed; we may yet wonder at the vastness, greatness, and precision of the universe itself. But to lift up and to bow down to the created at the expense of the Creator Himself is, indeed, man’s greatest folly. And, how much more foolish, to hold in esteem the creation of the creation; whether it be tradition, culture,  social order, or pseudoscience,  “worshipping” our own creations, as a result of our great knowledge must be the epitome of ignorance. Thus, our knowledge has brought us full circle!

My Prayer of Thanksgiving

Thank you for a strong body.
Forgive me when I neglect to nurture it in a healthy way.
Thank you for the freedom of choice.
Forgive me when my choices are selfish and do not honor you.
Thank you for intellect, the ability to think and learn.
Forgive me when I am too lazy to learn and neglect the development of my mind.
Thank you for giving me wisdom.
Forgive me when I depend on my fallible human wisdom rather than the wisdom which comes from you.
All that I am, and all that I hope to be I owe to you.
Forgive me when I fail to honor you as the Lord and Master of my Life.
Cleanse me and I will be completely clean.
Forgive me and I will be completely forgiven.
Love me and I will be completely loved.
Pour your Grace on me and I will be completely blessed.

I was raised in a Protestant church. Well, actually, in a Baptist church; for many Baptists, as well as some other denominations, will say they are not Protestant. But without any doubt the "free church", if not born in the Reformation, certainly came into it own during that time. But, not the point here. The point is that I was not exposed to any of the historical writings of the Christian movement (except the Bible of course), since they came out of the Catholic church. However, in recent years (actually it has been about 15-20 now), I have studied much of the Christian church history, and have learned a good deal about men who "sold out" for their beliefs and convictions. Without getting too critical about their fine theological points, I have found much wisdom in their writings and their prayers. There again, as a Baptist, heaven forbid that we might "read" a prayer, and certainly anything which sounded like a "creed" must be evil. Actually, when most people could not read, nor could even afford a Bible if they could read, such things as memorized prayers and succinct statements of belief (creeds) were very helpful for them to understand and to personalize their faith. And, while I do not quite concur with "sainthood" as bestowed by the Catholic church, in studying the lives of many of these men (and women), they often set some very good examples for us in their dedication to things Spiritual, and the forsaking of things Material. Saint Francis of Assisi was one such individual. Being born into a wealthy family, he could have had an easy life with anything the world had to offer, but he chose to forsake all that for the sake of his worship and dedication to God. Many of his prayers are recorded, and I suppose, are memorized or at least read in the Catholic church. I don't know that for sure, since I have only been in a Catholic church for a couple of special occasions.
I recently was reminded of a quote which I remember from a Stephen Covey Leadership seminar, "Seek first to understand, then to be understood." This seemed to me to be a very simple but very wise statement to help guide my communications with others, and I have tried (sometimes not very hard) to apply this in my communications with others. And, as I remember, the Covey seminar and materials did not give any credit to another for the source of this statement or wisdom. So, it was a surprise to me when I found it in an eight hundred year old prayer; that of Saint Francis of Assisi. It is a simple prayer but packed with such wisdom which I would like to share at this point. It is called his Peace Prayer:

Lord make me
an instrument of your peace

Where there is hatred,
Let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
And where there is sadness, Joy.

O Divine Master grant that I may
Not so much seek to be consoled
As to console;
To be understood,
As to understand;
To be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive,
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned.
And it is in dying that we are
Born to eternal life.
Amen

Pass It On

Yesterday I sat with a dear brother who is suffering from the heavy burden of guilt, shame and despair which results from a tremendous personal failure. It is a burden which one can only truly understand by sharing similar experience of such personal failure. I do. And it is for that very reason that I sat with him yesterday. It is for that very reason that I could feel his pain and his deep sense of shame. It is for that very reason that I was there and that I could share with him some of the Wisdom, some of the Grace, some of the Love which has been shared with me. As we talked, the words from a dear, dear lady came back to me, as those same words have come back to me so many times. I often wonder if she really knew the impact her words would have on me throughout the years. Indeed, not only on me, but on so many that I would be privileged to share her words with. This dear lady looked at me in the eyes, with the love of Jesus shining through her, she said to me, “Your life is not defined by this one failure, but by the total of who you are, your service and faithfulness throughout the years.” Those words have been a source of strength and hope to me. And, as I shared them again yesterday, they conveyed that same hope to him, as well as, once again, encouraging me.

Today, as I reflect on that time together, and especially as I reflect on this one statement of encouragement and hope, the realization comes to me of the impact this friend of mine has had on so many lives. For, I am sure, she has been the channel of this Wisdom and this Hope for many others over the years just as she has to me. But, even more than that, to so many whom she has never even met. Her influence has been passed on through me, and I am sure, through those many others who have had the great privilege of knowing her personally.

So, is this only a praise and recognition of the Love and Faithfulness of this dear lady? It is indeed that, but also more. For as I see her faithfulness and her sharing of herself impacting so many down through the years, it is a vivid reminder that I have the same opportunity, the same privilege, the same responsibility to impact the lives of others, and that such actions can and will reverberate down through the years, even ripple out in the present to touch more lives than I could even imagine. I realize more and more each day just how temporal I am. Each time I try to get up out of a chair, or bend over to tie my shoes, or to do so many things that used to be so easy, I am reminded of my “temporariness”. However, I am also beginning to see how my influence, for good or for bad, can live on for years to come, and indeed, can last forever!! I may never come up with such original words of wisdom as my dear friend shared with me, but I can pass those along to others. That is the very least I can do to show my gratitude, for I can never repay her, and I can never repay Him, for the Grace given to one who deserved none.

A Eulogy to My Mother

One year ago today, my Mother said her final good-bys to her family here on this earth and joined her eternal family with her Maker and Lord. I miss her, but I am so happy for her new life now, for the one here had become too burdensome. The following is a eulogy I gave at her last service and a poem I had written about her. This is in honor of her memory.

There are lots of stories, lots of memories, I could tell about Mom.

I would have a hard time coming up with just a couple of favorites.
Mom didn’t have an easy life as a young person, or even as a young mother, raising four kids.
But, she had a great attitude. I guess I didn’t really appreciate it at the time, but as I became an adult and had to deal with my own life problems, I began to wonder at just how she could always have such a good attitude; always a smile for folks.
As we, kids, grew up and grandkids came along. We used to always have so much fun at family gatherings. Mom – Grandma – Mima, would always join in the fun, laughing, and mostly at herself. These were great times.
There is one thing about mom that stands out to me now.
She had an uncanny gift at “sizing” people up. She could see through a phoney in a second. She knew right away if someone was sincere or if they were just putting on a front.
But in spite of this insight, she never had a judgmental spirit. She would love and accept all, maybe with a bit of appropriate caution.
I believe I inherited a bit of the former trait, but wish I had more of her grace.
In the last couple of years, the monstrous dementia began to steal her mind and her ability to communicate. Coupled with a loss of hearing, put her somewhat in her own world.
There were many times, I would peer into those deep blue eyes and wonder just what she was thinking
Did she hear me?
Did she understand?
Was she trying to communicate, but just couldn’t connect with her voice?
This was especially true in the last couple of years.
I wanted so many times, to be able to step into her mind, to see and hear her thoughts, to know her mind. Because it would seem at times that she really wanted to communicate something but just couldn’t.
It was frustrating to me that I couldn’t know for sure just what she was comprehending.
It was after one of these kinds of visits that I wrote the poem printed below (A Mother and A Son). It reflects some of my frustration.
On Monday of this (Feb 15,2011) week, I visited her in the hospital. As I came down the hall and within her line of sight. She immediately locked her gaze on me. As I stood by her bed, holding her hand, I sensed that she knew what lay ahead for her. I sensed that she wanted, needed the comfort of those who loved her so much. But, one just could not know for sure what was in her mind.
This thought must have stayed in my mind that night. I woke up in the early morning hours, got up, and began to write my thoughts. I would like to read those to you at this time. I think it is very close to the kind of thing she would want to say if she could speak to you now.
When I was young, I can remember her teaching me at appropriate times; shaking her index finger at me and saying, “Now let that be a lesson to you, young man.”
So, I think of this, as her final lesson to me.
 

The Final Dimension

As we travel through our world in the dimensions of space and time,

There comes a point for each of us that we approach that unknown portal.
With just one small step, we will step through that portal in time,
And perhaps, for just one moment, we will be able to glimpse
Back through this open portal and see the dimension of time from the outside.
We cannot imagine a world without the space and time dimension in which we are born.
But, what if we could imagine what this world may look like from the outside?
What would this momentary glimpse reveal?
Perhaps as we took a look back through this portal,
Those things which seemed so very important as we travel in this present dimension
Would not only become unimportant, but would disappear entirely.
We might see this present dimension as we would see the weatherman’s blue screen.
We see the illusion of a weathermap, radar reflections, fronts and such
But when we see what is actually there, we see only the weatherman
Standing in front of a blue screen.
Perhaps as we look back, stepping through this final portal,
We will see only the people.
Only those objects which will last forever.
And not only that, but we will see that each one is frighteningly close
To taking that small step though their own portal.
Yes, all things might disappear to us with the exception of these people.
And since we will not be bound by the dimension of time,
We will see that each one is standing ready at their final portal.
But, as we step through, there would be only that briefest of moments
Given to us to glimpse back.
For upon taking that final small step through our own portal
We will immediately step into our final transport.
The transport which will deliver us to our ultimate destination.
To those who have been chosen,
Chosen through their own will
Which has been given to them to exercise,
Chose to accept the free gift given them,
Those will enter into the eternal presence of their Creator.
But those who have not so chosen
Will be transported to their final, eternal destination
Outside of His Presence.
Would it be a gift to be allowed this perspective of time outside of time?
To see those important things disappear?
To see that only the people remain as that which is real?
Would such a perspective give us a different set of priorities?
Would it change the way that we relate to and treat people?
We are standing beside our portal.
This perspective is only a small step away.
What will we see?

Dwight Suiter

February 15, 2011
(The day my mother stepped through her final portal.)

A Mother and A Son

She sat alone and in her silence stared.

Not a word to speak , no thought was shared.
Her gentle smile would on occasion break
The notion that at last she could not speak.
It seemed that any moment she may share
Her thoughts so deep and stir the stagnant air.

Peering into her eyes, her aging son

Looked for a sign that she felt not alone.
He longed to hear her laugh as long ago,
And hear her call his name, her love to show.
He tried to make her hear his own weak voice.
That sharing of his love she might rejoice

And just when hope seemed dim and almost lost,

A nod, a sigh, as if it did exhaust
Her fragile frame and all her strength did take.
Her head would bow and hands begin to shake.
He took her hands and gently kissed her cheek
And wiped a tear away, but could not speak.

Dwight Suiter

April 3, 2010

The Greatest of These is Love

For My Valentine....

God’s purpose for me is completed in you,
And to this calling, I will ever be true.
A gift custom made, especially for me
So beautifully wrapped; so lovely to see.
One He has made us as only He can
Together forever to fulfill His plan.
The author of Love in His wisdom, you see,
Made me for you and He made you for me.

True Love

Life is all about decisions. Decisions shape our lives, and to some extent, define who we are. Sometimes we try to live life based on our feelings, our emotions, whether it be anger, revenge, hate or, even love. Inevitably, living our life based on these feelings will leave us empty and without direction in our lives. It will NOT lead us toward a goal in our lives. It will not lead us toward satisfaction, peace, or even toward self respect.

The first and most important decision in our lives is the decision to accept God’s direction and plan for our lives. This is a DECISION. It is a decision based on the FACT that God created us and designed us for a purpose. We will never find happiness, peace, and fulfillment apart from that purpose. We cannot make the decision to follow God’s will, design, and purpose for our lives based on how we feel, for if we try to do that, we will stray from the path of achieving the goal. We will be without direction. Sometimes we will chose to act according to our feelings; to try to find the happiness and fulfillment for ourselves based on our feelings. This is called SIN. When we are living in sin it is difficult for us to see the truth of God’s plan.

For example, if you were to raise an animal, from infancy, in total darkness, that animal would eventually lose its ability to see, even though he could once see. Living in sin is exactly the same for us. If we continue to DECIDE to live outside of God’s plan for our lives, then we begin to lose the ability to see His plan clearly. Thanks to His Grace, He will continue to pursue us in our sin, and will continue to call us back to Him. This, in part, accounts for the feelings of guilt when we sin, when we do wrong. For us to continue to reject this calling is to reject the life and the plan that He has designed for us to have peace, happiness, and fulfillment.

Perhaps the next most important decision in our lives is the decision of CHOSING to love another person. Usually that decision is based, in part, initially, on our FEELINGS. God designed us to have feelings but He does not intend for us to be ruled by them or to make our life decisions based on them. However, having “feelings” for another person can lead us to DECIDING to love that person. After a while, the “feelings” will go away. Then all you have left is the decision that you have made to love that person. We are fooled by the “father of lies” when we think that LOVE is a feeling that we have.

The feelings that we have are all about US. Love is NOT about us.

Love is about the other person. Love is a decision to ACT toward another person in a way that has that person’s best interest at heart. Jesus did not suffer and die on the cross because He “felt” like it. He decided to accept that because of His love for us. It was not about Him at that moment, it was all about us. That is true love, and real love. It is that kind of love that when given to another will provoke a response of a similar love. That is, when we love our mate with that kind of love, then, in turn, our mate will respond to that love.

When we have lived in darkness for a while, that is, when we have chosen to live our life based on our own feelings rather than deciding to follow God’s plan, then it takes a while for us to be able to see again. This is part of God’s discipline for us. He wants us to learn from the sufferings of our own mistakes. He wants us to do that so that we will not want to make those bad decisions again.

How deeply we suffer and hurt and how severely we experience the pain depends on how long we resist moving back toward God.

The longer we resist, the greater our suffering will be. The suffering, the anguish, the emptiness are all signs of His love for us. They are gifts given to us to help us achieve the goal of our lives, which is to follow His design and purpose for us.

In our marriages, God’s design and purpose for us is to LOVE our spouse; for us to Love our spouse for as long as we live or for as long as they live. How terrible it is to be given life’s most precious gifts, only for us to throw them away, to abuse them, or to refuse to accept them. The most precious gifts which God has given to us is, first of all Jesus, His love, and his plan for our lives. And, next is a life partner, a mate, our spouse who can help us achieve His plan for our lives when we are both in tune with Him. How can we be so selfish? How can we be so bold? How can we be so stupid? To refuse God’s plan to give us the best of everything and to make our own decisions based on our own feelings of selfishness.

It is because, we chose to follow the “father of lies” rather than to follow the “Father of Love”.

When we decide to follow God’s plan for our lives, all things will begin to fall into place. Not all things will be rosy and good, but all things will fall into place to help us achieve His goal for us. It is the same with our marriage. When we chose to love our spouse in the way that God intends, and our spouse makes the same decision, all things will fall into place. The “feelings” are not the same as when we chose to make our own selfish decisions, but the feelings are much more real, they are much more satisfying, and they will last; they will not fade. And our marriage relationship will be deeper. The love for our spouse will be so much more satisfying and meaningful. It is a growing and maturing experience for us that will give us the self respect that we seek to achieve.

If we continually follow our feelings and our own selfishness, then we will NEVER experience the true love that God has designed for us and has designed us for. That is a tragic loss in anyone’s life.

We do not wait for our spouse to be all that we want them to be before we LOVE them. This, again, is selfishness not love. Remember that Jesus LOVED us while we were choosing to live in selfishness (sin) and making our own plans, while we were refusing Him, rejecting Him, He still CHOSE (decided) to love us anyway; and to love us enough to suffer and die for us.

To what extent will we go to show our mate how much we love them?

Will we wait until they “deserve” it? Will we wait until they are all that we want them to be? Will we wait until they make us “feel” good?

Or will we chose to love them unconditionally and to give them the BEST of all that we have? When we do this,

then we will find the “true” love;

we will find the real love;
we will find the love which God designed for us,
and it will be a love that we can not, and will not, experience any other way.

It is the BEST way!!

The Dream

Do you ever awake in the morning and feel as if you are still in your dream? You don't know reality from your dream world, it just seemed so real. Here is just a little jingle which expresses my feelings sometimes when I am in that state of "in between".

I lie here awake and ponder
The dream, it seems a wonder;
Is it real? Or just a vision?
My emotions sense derision
From this image which now lingers.
Blurry eyes and tingling fingers…
Why I cannot seem to shake
This image which now has me awake.
I live within it and without,
But which is real, I have my doubt.
Asleep again, or rise and shine?
Depends on which I want as mine.
Is it pleasant or a curse?
Could be death or even worse!
Perhaps I could find esteem
Within the warmth of this dream.
Let it go or seize its fate?
Back to sleep or now to wake?
No matter now; this fuss is o’er.
The sun is beaming through my door.
‘Tis time to rise and meet the day,
And make this dream now go away!

Gratitude or Obligation

My birthday comes very near the first of the year. So, when I “turn over a new year”, I am doing so both in the sense of the calendar year AND another year of my life. I don’t usually make New Year’s Resolutions, but I do generally, around the turn of the year and my birthday, reflect on the past year. Each time I do so, I am first of all reminded of just how good God has been; how abundantly He has blessed me and my family. And I spend time in grateful praise, giving Him thanks for all this. No, I don’t just do this on a yearly basis! Almost daily, I reflect on His goodness to me, on His blessings, His Grace, His Love, and I give Him thanks for His favor on my life.

It never fails, though, that when I think of all of God’s goodness and His blessings, that I think of my failures; my unworthiness; my undeserving-ness of such Grace, Mercy and Love. I realize that I DO NOT deserve His Lovingkindness. And I must confess, that sometimes I feel the need to “be better”, to work harder, and to try and become more worthy of such Goodness. In fact, I think I have probably lived most of my live with just this attitude; that I HAVE to do something more than what I am doing; I HAVE to be a better person than I am, or God may not continue to be so generous to me. Some years ago, I began to realize, intellectually, that this is not the case. God does not love me because of what I do, not even because of who I am, but because of who He is. And since He does not change, He continues to love me regardless of who I am or what I do. I CANNOT do anything that will cause Him to love me more; and I cannot do anything that will cause Him to love me less. (borrowed from Phillip Yancey, What’s So Amazing About Grace) I say that “I began” to realize this “intellectually” because I believed it with my head, but I had a hard time putting this into practice, that is, believing it in my heart.

But then I realized that I was NEVER going to be “good enough”. I was NEVER going to be able to deserve God’s Love, His Grace, His Mercy. And it didn’t matter since He loves me UNCONDITIONALLY! In fact, this very year, as I was reflecting and praying, and thanking God for all His blessings in my life, it just came home to me; it was like someone turned on the light in my heart and in my head; it was like someone opened the windows on a new, sunny Spring day after a long, cold winter. God doesn’t want me to live in regret of my failures. God doesn’t want me to live in the shackles of “trying” but never being good enough. God just wants me to live in gratitude; grateful for Him; for His favor on me because of His infinite, unconditional Love for me. As I live in this state of gratitude, it WILL affect my actions, of course. I will more often seek His face. I will more often follow His leadership. I will more often reflect the light of His Love in my life. But this will be the natural (or should I say “supernatural”) result of my recognizing who He is and my living in gratitude to Him; it will not be because I have finally discovered how to be a deserving person, achieving any of this on my own.

Ps 100:4 Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.

Ps 30:12 that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever.

Col 3:17 And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Worthwhile???

If you find any of this worthwhile, please leave me a comment or "join" my site. My purpose here is not to entertain but to simply share some of what God has taught me and welcome similar lessons from you. I know from the counter that there are some who have visited, but I don't know who or if you find anything here worth reading. Just wanting to know. Thanks.

The Seven Who Changed a Nation

As I have seen my grandchildren go with their parents, and to go with such a sweet spirit and a spiritual sensitivity far above their years; and as I have seen their friends follow in the very same footsteps, I have a vision that these seven young children, growing up in a strange land, will grow with a heart for the people there, their friends, and that through this generation, the mission will spring forward in full bloom to reclaim the land which once belonged to Him.

There were seven chosen to go and tell
The Good News for all, which they knew so well.
The strangers there did not seem to care
About this One whom they’d come to share.
But ‘twas a silent story they told with their lives,
A story told well which even now survives.
For the strangers then, watched and they learned
About a Great One which so long they had spurned.
And slowly, their little ones began, as they grew
To question the rules and the law which they knew.
For these seven who came from so far away
Had shown a new life, a new love, a new way.
The little ones believed and their little ones they taught.
And the nation was changed by the message they brought.
Now the seven are gone, but their progeny remain
For they were the little ones when to this land they came.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BECCA

Happy Birthday, Becca! My sweet, precious daughter!

I won’t mention how many years ago we brought home that
Pink bundle of joy, Daddy’s little girl.
The number is irrelevant to me, since it seems only a few days ago.
Now you are a mother, three times over, but only a few days ago
You were “mother” to Ryon, and, if Heath would allow, to him as well.
You would “cook” for them; scold them as they needed;
And tuck them in for bedtime. All within the “home” of your
Little room.
How many memories can a Dad tuck into a few days?
Too many to write down, for sure.
I miss the foot rubs when I came home from work.
I miss the squeezes of those little arms around my neck,
And that precious, innocent little kiss on my cheek.
I miss holding you in my lap while you drift off to sleep.
And I miss watching you as you sleep,
Wondering what all the years ahead held in store.
I miss the ball games, the piano recitals, the girl scout cookies.
I miss being the One you would run to when hurt came,
Whether on the knee, or the elbow, or in the heart.
And I miss celebrating the many joys that are a part of
Growing from a little girl to a beautiful young lady.
But now, another man has your heart, as he should.
And the little boys you cook for and tuck into bed
Are real, precious little boys of yours that I can still hold;
Still get good squeezes and kisses.
And watch them as they sleep.
And wonder what the years ahead hold in store.
Now you are a wonderful wife.
Now you are a loving, caring mother.
Your commitment is total; your love is unconditional.
Becca, I am so proud of you, my one and only daughter.
I am proud of the wife you are; the mother you are;
The daughter you are.
And I am proud of WHO you are.
But, in some ways, and in my heart, you will always be
Daddy’s Little Girl.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

Communications

It was not long ago that our primary communications between individuals was letter writing. Then the telephone came onto the scene and it was just so convenient to pick up the phone and talk with someone, that letter-writing began to fade somewhat into the background, although for long distance communications it was still the least expensive avenue. With advent of internet and e-communications, email took over letter-writing almost completely, and even replaced much of our phone conversations since we could send emails anywhere in the world at no cost above that of our monthly internet access fees.

With my generation, baby boomers, there are some who have not adopted the e-communications means. However, the majority have, especially since so many of us now have family and friends all around the world. However, I have recently discovered that many of the younger generation, those who are now becoming adults and beginning families, that email is taking a backseat to “texting”. Texting is immediate; it gets the message to another individual almost instantly. It does not necessarily interrupt as a phone call might, but can be addressed by the receiver at their convenience and answered instantly or delayed at their discretion. Texting is a good way to exchange a quick, necessary message with someone locally or anywhere around the world.

As I think about this progression of communications: letter writing, telephone, email, to texting; I think about how more and more “impersonal” it seems to become. Not only impersonal, but almost a very superficial communication, seeking only to communicate basic facts, questions and answers. And, in the case of texting, a whole new vocabulary substituting strings of letters for phrases, abbreviating, short cutting the words to get the essence of the message across.

In the past, when one sat down to write a letter, one would THINK about, not only WHAT was to be said, but also HOW it would be said so that the reader might understand the message and the meaning in the way it was intended. One would seek to be understood, to share what was on the mind and what was in the heart. Compare that with texting of today. No time to THINK about what or how the message is to be formulated. Not really any time to think about the words used, if any real words are used at all. Certainly no intent to share what might be “on the heart” or matters of any deep significance. Although it may be a very efficient way of communicating some basic facts, it lacks the capability of communicating anything further. There is a danger of losing that very personal communication of thoughts, values, feelings. If one of the very basic and important needs of humans is to KNOW and to be KNOWN by someone, then our communication mechanisms must provide and means of doing that. When face-to-face communications is not possible, then maybe the next best thing is for one to set aside time, time to reflect, time to think, time to choose words appropriate for the emotions, time to design our words and our phrases so that the receiver of our communications may well understand our intent and may receive our message with the same impact as if we could deliver it in person.

Oh, we should take advantage of all the means of communications we have available today and others that we will have in the future. But we should use them in a way that fits our need to communicate. I hope we do not lose the ability, some say the art, of our written communication. By “written” I mean that which requires one to sit down and formulate thoughts, choose words expressing our feelings and emotions, and phrasing them to communicate our intent. There is something about the solitude of letter writing that allows us to open ourselves, perhaps even more so than is possible in a face to face communication.

The Baton Has Been Passed

I wrote this after a visit to my Mom one day. She was the last of her generation, and all of my Dad's generation had already passed. It began to dawn on me that I, and my brother and sisters were now the "elders" of our family. That thought can be a bit sobering. When you realize there is no longer that source of wisdom to draw from; there is no longer that stability that a parents' home seems to bring even to a 50 or 60 year old man; and that, especially, now, all of a sudden, you are it!!!! You are the one whom all the others now are looking to for those same things. How do we manage to accept and carry such a responsibility?

The baton has been passed to the unprepared kin.
Now what will we do? How do we begin
To firmly implant our values and dreams
For the next generation, as a guide for their schemes.
Our mothers and fathers have gone on before
And have left us to carry the load which they bore.
And that is to set an example of life
That would lead us to peace and avoid undue strife.
So, how do we carry such a load, such a weight
When even our patriarchs strained this to sate?
And even if our forefathers failed in this quest
It still behooves us to give it our best.
What do we teach, what do we say,
That will help prepare others for their coming day?
Remember one thing; forget all the rest:
The Creator who made us will always know best.
 

Dwight Suiter

September 26, 2010

Fix Me

In the movie “Joyful Noise”, Queen Latifah delivers a beautiful rendition of a soulful song, “Fix Me”. As I listened to her sing, I thought, “She is either a very good actress, with a very strong ability to empathize, or her life has been touched by the reality and the realization that many of us have experienced, that, at some point in our life, each of us feel the need to be “fixed”.” For many of us, yes…many of us, find ourselves at times in our lives when we are suffering from a broken, a wounded heart; feelings of uselessness, without purpose; broken, severed relationships. Many of us find ourselves in the soulful estate of a broken and suffering spirit. For we are, indeed, a spiritual being, first and foremost. When our spiritual being is not healthy, not satisfied, then our physical dwelling will not be healthy. It is not the other way around. We ARE the spiritual being, that is who we are, created; and we live in the physical dwelling temporarily. When we realize that we are that spiritual being, and when we take care of our spiritual being, then other things begin to fall into place. Our spiritual being, that is WE, long to be connected with our Creator, who is also a Spiritual Being. But sometimes our choices in life break that connection, that relationship, that we long to have with our Creator. We find ourselves feeling helpless, hopeless, but when we cry out from that empty, hollow void inside; when we cry out, “Ohhhhhhhhh, Jesus……..Fix Me!!!”, not only is He able but He is willing; not only is He willing He desires to; not only does He desire to but He longs to “fix” us; to restore us in our relationship with Him. He longs for us to know His Love. He longs for us to know His Grace. He longs for us to know His Forgiveness. It is in Him that we find our purpose, for He created us for the purpose of having that relationship; of knowing His Presence and His Love.

David had these same feelings and expressed them in different words, but with the same need:

“Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord;

O Lord, hear my voice. Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy.
If you, O Lord, kept a record of sins, O Lord, who could stand?
But with you there is forgiveness; therefore you are feared.
I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,
And in His word I put my hope.” (Ps 130:1-5)

“Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions.

…
Cleanse me with hyssop and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
…
Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” (Ps 51)

….oooooooooOOOooooooooohhhhhh…….. Je--sus………. Fix Me!!!!!

Yes, it sounds much the same; it IS the same. But sometimes pretty words don’t come; sometimes words don’t come at all. Sometimes it is just that cry, that moan, from down deep in our being and the Spirit speaks for us…. Fix Me!

A Stroll Dow Memory Lane

I wrote this on January 6, 2010. While anticipating a class reunion, I was thumbing through the old yearbook. Not only did that bring back some memories, but set me to reflection of the past years.

A Stroll Down Memory Lane

A stroll down Memory Lane

And the paths of Yesteryear,
Bring a thrill, excitement, joy,
And, oh – what’s this – a tear?

A tear for youth that is now gone, gone for aye;

A tear for friendships the years have tak’n away.
A tear for memories of things that might have been;
For dreams not realized, and failures come again.

But awake, my soul, dwell not on auld lang syne.

Think not on things that once were, or things that could have been.
But thank the good and gracious God who leads along the path
Of life, and gently guides us home again.

For He sees the way, the roads that we will choose.

And He directs our steps and molds us to be used.
Disappointments and failures serve only to enhance
Our capacity for joy and our need for pride to lose.

With the years come wisdom, at least, that’s what they say.

Being wise, let’s focus on the joys that come our way.
For blessings have been sprinkled, no, poured out along our path.
These outshine all the scars, the failures of our past.

So, my soul, take heart;

Yesteryear is gone, and tomorrow is yet to be.
Today you have been given.
So live it full and free.

My very first poem

This is a re-post from a note I made almost two years ago now. I thought it a good way to begin this new blog. Mom passed away almost a year ago now. So this takes on a new significance as I reflect on it again.

This (March, 2010) week I moved some of my Mom's things from her house in Nashville to my sister, Anita's, in Atlanta where my Mom is now staying. In her dresser drawers were lots of old letters and cards. I was fascinated to find a Mother's Day card that I had made for here when I was a kid, probably about 10 years old or so. It is made of pink construction paper folded into a card. I drew a redbird (my favorite) on the front, perched on a branch, with musical notes coming out of its beak. Inside, in my little kid handwriting, as fancy as I could make it, were these words:

Dear Mother,
I don't know how to put into words
All the things that you have done.
How you have loved and cared for me
And I'm proud to be your son.
What I feel, I cannot say,
But I wish you a Happy Mother's Day.

It made me laugh and cry, especially knowing that she has kept this little card for over 50 years, having moved about so many times during that time.